What do you need to be happy?

Words by Angela Simson
The Gratitude Project

There has been a little bit of a theme in my life right now.  People (friends, family and clients) are all telling me EXACTLY what they require in life to be happy.  Listing it off, either as goals or aspirations.  Like a mental check list that needs to be completed before they can relax into life and really be happy.

Things like:

  • weight loss
  • a wedding proposal from a lazy boyfriend
  • that promotion at work

And this is all well and good.  I love goals, I believe it’s amazing to have aspirations and things you want to accomplish in life.

But I want to ask you – what will it take for you to be happy?

What is your non-negotiable to happiness that has you teetering on the edge of pure bliss in your life?  Think about it.

Now let me ask you.

What happens when my clients weight loss doesn’t make her relationship with her husband any more pleasant?

What happens when the stress of planning a wedding makes my bestie long for the day to be here and over so she can finally be happy as a newly wed?

What happens when that promotion leaves my sister with more work than she expected and suddenly her weekends aren’t so social anymore?


As a society, we’re almost trained to believe that we need to achieve certain things to be happy.  So when we don’t get that promotion or we struggle to save enough for that dream house we saw online, we’re let down and start to develop a scarcity mindset.  Which means instead of being confident in our world and what it throws at us, we start to feel small, alone and unsafe.

So when we don’t believe that we are enough, do enough or have enough, we get put in control of those beliefs and they expand.  They become more real and more true.  Then we miss out on hitting those goals we’ve set for ourselves and suddenly the feeling is amplified.

You can tell if you’re stuffing from a scarcity mindset if you compare yourself to others often, feel anxious or depressed when scrolling social media, don’t feel worth of goodness but also cling to perfection.

Do you relate?

Luckily, the way to get out of this state is pretty simple.  It can take a while to get used to but the results are usually seen in a matter of DAYS.


It’s as simple as writing down each day three things that you’re grateful for.  With only one rule, you have to include yourself in the list and something you’re grateful for about YOU.

I’m a fan of finding your own gratitude flow.  Either do it at night when you hop into bed, or first thing in the morning when you wake up.  If you’re a bit of a go go go girl and find it hard to sit and concentrate at the beginning or end of the day for long enough to actually get deep into your gratitude practice, just do it once a week, but a bigger list.


I’m not a fan of writing before bed, so I speak my gratitude.  My husband and I lay in bed each night and list our things, ask each other about them and expand them.  Suddenly, life is abundant and what’s lacking is taken over by what is gained.  Because what we appreciate, appreciates.  What we focus on, expands.  So when we focus on lack, we have more lack.  But when we put laser attention into the good, get really clear on what makes us happy, we get more of that.

And who doesn’t want to be happier?


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